Midlife is one of the most powerful and wonderful transitions as profound as becoming a mother. You get to rebirth yourself and embark on some of the happiest years of your life. Yet this can be a scary time.

You may feel like you've lost touch with what makes you happy.

Many women enter midlife after being immersed in the all-consuming effort of raising children. Suddenly the kids have their own lives with friends, hobbies, sports, and school that take them away from home. If your midlife transition occurs as you're becoming an empty nester, it can feel especially lonely and confusing. You may wonder.......

Now that I have

time to do things for me,

what will I do?

If your own needs and interests have taken a backseat, and you're not sure what you like anymore, start with a little exploration. Below are three suggestions for getting back in touch with your needs and desires.

1. Take yourself on a date in one or both of the ways described below.

  • If a friend or partner were to plan the perfect date for you, what would it include? Dinner at a nice restaurant? Listening to live music? A movie? Shopping trip? A trip to the mountains to hike and picnic? A day curled up in a lounge chairwith the perfect book? Dream up your perfect day outing or evening on the town with your friend or partner. Get as specific as you can, plan it, and enjoy!
  • Plan a solo outing to feed your spirit and get your creative juices flowing. Choose from spiritual, mental, and physical activities. If you feel like you need to recharge your batteries, a massage, stretch class, or writing in your journal might be perfect. If you're considering doing a project, such as redecorating your house, go to places that will inspire you, where you can evaluate colors and designs. If you've always wanted to learn a new language, take a class.

2. Think back to what you liked at different stages of your life. 

Dr. Christiane Northrup wrote that girls give you a glimpse of who they might become between the ages of nine to eleven, when they're old enough to know their minds but aren't yet influenced by societies' expectations before they're encouraged to conform in the teen years. What were your interests and deepest desires at age ten? When you were leaving for college? Before you had children? In your 30's? Now? Write your responses and review them with these questions in mind:

  •  How have your interests changed or stayed the same over the years?
  • Is there something you'd like to do today that you haven't done in a long time? Why?
  • Does the girl you were at ten give you any insights into the woman you've become or into aspects of yourself that you'd like to explore?

3. Make a bucket list.

Have you dreamed of cruising the Greek Isles.....running in a marathon.....becoming a yoga instructor or......jumping out of a plane? Create a list of the things you'd like to do and the things that you'd regret not doing at least once. Use your imagination! There are no wrong answers. Choose one of the items to explore or achieve first.

What Dreams & Plans Do You Have?

It can be scary and confusing when you go through the midlife transition..... But it doesn't have to be.


Dream big and explore new interests.


Be playful, have fun, be open to new experiences.


Before you know it, you'll know exactly what you like!


What Dreams & Plans Do You Have?